Consider it pure joy...

Hello everyone! So sorry it has been a little while since I have written! A lot has been happening in my heart and mind in the last couple of days, I just needed to process some of it before I wrote! Let me explain a bit in this blog. Just a warning, this may be a bit lengthy, but I pray you can see Jesus and find joy in seeking HIS face with me.

Tomorrow, it will have been two weeks since we have gone to the US Embassy here in Kampala to file all of our paperwork for our adoption in hopes that we would get a Visa for Uriah within a couple days of our embassy visit, and then go home! We were very excited! However, like I have stated in previous blogs, there was a bit of a snag. There was one document that needed to be written by another individual with higher rank than the gentleman who initially wrote the document. We were a bit bummed, but decided to try and be thankful in that tough moment... to try and find joy by seeking HIS face. I thought in my head that we would maybe get that form within a couple days.... well here we are two weeks later still waiting on that document. There are some complications and confusions happening between different parties/people that is causing a delay in receiving this document. There is a possibility of us being here another 3-4 weeks or longer (depending on what happens). Of course, when I heard this news, I tried (but honestly not very hard) to be thankful in that moment of difficult news of uncertainty... however, I failed miserably and my heart was turning cold.

When we were learning about the adoption process in Uganda, we were told at first to plan for 12 weeks in country because that is how long families working with our agency typically were staying. We were told roughly what the process would look like and roughly how long each step could take. We were told that there could be possible snags that our agency wouldn't know about, and that we would need work through whatever those would be. We knew that there would be multiple times throughout this trip/process that could cause frustration, but were encouraged to be patient, to be kind and to seek and trust the Lord, for He is in control. So, of course I KNOW all of that, but in my mind, I was thinking, "oh yes, I will remember all of that and not be frustrated if problems arise...buuuuut, that's not going to happen to our family. Everything will go smoothly and we will probably be home before 12 weeks!" Do you ever think that way? OR, I have thoughts like, "Ok, we just heard some challenging news, and we could be here longer, but God is just testing how I would respond, and if I respond correctly, we will find out the next day that everything is done that needs to be done, and we will be on our way home shortly." Responding as if God is a circumstantial God and will give me what I want if I respond the correct way. God is a God who is sovereign and in control. He is a God who is my Father and gives me only good things... not according to my standards and what I think are good things, but as He sees fit and good for me and for our family and ultimately for His glory. He gives good gifts.

So, after talking through things with my husband and just cooling off, God has comforted me. His Word (the Bible) really does speak life, encouragement and comfort (amongst many other things). Yes, our circumstances have not changed and I am still struggling a bit, but am working on fighting those feelings by running to Jesus. Believe it or not, I can truly say I am thankful for this challenging news because it has caused me to turn to Jesus and be reminded of who He is, and to allow my heart, mind and soul to be filled by Him. I love the song by Kari Jobe Steady My Heart. I am so glad that song popped on today during my iPod shuffle. The words really met me where I was and reminded me of who God is. If you have never heard it, please click the YouTube link below! It is so wonderful!

Along with worshipping and seeking the Lord musically, I tried something new to find comfort. The last blog I did I talked about the message I heard on memorizing scripture. Oh how I am seeing the importance of memorizing God's Word so that once those moments of tribulation come, you can search your mind and heart (where God's Word is hidden and tucked away) and you can dwell on it... it's water to your soul when it is cracked and dried. I don't have any large sections of scripture memorized, but I have been working on the book of James. I have only memorized the first two verses, but I wanted to continue reading the first chapter because I knew there was so much wisdom about trials and persevering. So, I know it seems like a lot, but here is the first chapter of James. May you dwell on it, and let it sink in:

James 1
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings. 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sister, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation - since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16 Don't be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Ahhhhh, such wonderful truths. I pray that God continues to change my heart and mind... even though it can be painful and I may not want to pray that lol Deep down that's what I want. So thank you Lord!

Without further adieu, here are some gifts!

Gifts:
59. Desiring.org (a wonderful website with TONS of wonderful resources! Check it out!)
60. Beautiful clouds during a sunset in Uganda yesterday after we heard some challenging news.
61. Immune booster pills!
62. A husband that cools me down in my frustration and helps me process things and turn back to Jesus
63. For hearing difficult/uncertain news yesterday because it has been drawing me closer and closer to Jesus.
64. James 1

Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement! We will continue to keep you posted as our adoption process moves forward Lord willing!
For Christ's Glory,
Marissa

Priorities

Hello everyone!
It has been pretty low key here! Still no word on the form we need to go home. So, we are still waiting! In the mean time, we are trying to find things to keep us busy (other than our 1 year old obviously lol). Things that have kept me busy are crocheting, reading, and hanging out with our friends and making new friends. The other thing that will also be keeping me (us) busy are the messages from the 2014 Desiring God National Conference. The theme was "Look At The Book". I am SO EXCITED to hear what God has laid on the hearts of these ladies and gentlemen! Josh and I listened to the first message tonight! It was called: You really can! Why and how to memorize big chunks of the Bible.  I have always struggled with memorizing. I'm not good at it and in my mind it takes too much time. John Bloom stated that this is not supposed to be a guilt trip, but is supposed to help us see why we should do it and how it is beneficial to memorize big chunks of the Bible.

So, here are some notes that I took while listening to this message! You can find the full message here (http://www.desiringgod.org/conference-messages/you-really-can-why-and-how-to-memorize-big-chunks-of-the-bible) I highly recommend it!

10 REASONS WHY MEMORIZING BIG CHUNKS OF THE BIBLE IS BENEFICIAL
1. Because we have a bad memory!
- I thought it was odd he said that, but it makes sense. My memory is poor, so I need to memorize scripture!
- We need to drive things in to our memory by repetition

2. We need to feed our minds
- Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.  It is hard to think of these things if we don't know what they are!
- When we are struggling (depression, marriage issues, defeat, failure etc.) we need specific truths and promises, not just a general overview.

3. The Bible is too accessible to us
- "What we have in abundance are things we tend to neglect" John Bloom
- We have so many Bibles, it's tempting to let the Word of God be "out there" instead of in our hearts. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly... Colossians 3:16

4. Because we have the internet
- the internet is teaching us how not to read. We browse and don't digest. We are losing patience and don't allow for deeper reflective reading. We NEED deep reflection of the Bible

5. We don't know the Bible as well as we think
- when we memorize large chunks of scripture, we can see a lot more than we realize
- we will see the flow of thoughts and get to know the Biblical writers etc.

6. God's Word will become more precious
- the more you invest in the Bible, it becomes more valuable, precious and essential.

7. It will help me to see more of God's glory
- For example, nature is beautiful and displays God's glory, however, just by looking at nature doesn't tell you that God gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life. We need God's Word

8. Memorizing large portions of scripture will fine tune your lie detector
- lies are lethal and destroys lives and souls

9. Because we are going to suffer
- We will all have trials and tribulation
- suffering is at times confusing and disorienting
- memorizing scripture gives us a well to draw from and will help us endure

10. because our brothers and sisters are going to suffer
- memorizing large portions of scripture is not only for us personally, but our brothers and sisters will suffer and they also need concrete promises

Just click on the link above to listen to the technique on how to memorize large portions of scripture! One point he really stressed a lot was that memorizing scripture really helps you to LISTEN to God's Word. So, I am looking forward to trying this out eventually and feeding my mind! It was a very good message! I really want to make memorizing scripture one of my main priorities so that I can know Christ more.

Now, on to gifts!

Gifts:
55. Rain noise maker to block out the extra noise while sleeping
56. A fan
57. A joke and music show put on by some of the kids today
58. Band aids (I cut my finger today! So they came in handy!)

Once again, thank you everyone for everything you have done for us and for your prayers and encouragement!

For Christ's Glory,
Marissa

Home

Yesterday, I was missing home. I was actually trying to take a nap, which was successful for a little bit and then I woke up momentarily and then my mind just took off! I started thinking about the fall season, which is one of my favorite seasons, and started to feel a bit sad. I missed family, friends, football parties, the leaves changing colors, jeans, sweatshirts, bon fires, church, lit candles that smell like fall, pumpkin carving etc. I felt sad that its possible we may miss this wondrous season and come back right into winter!

I had this feeling inside of me-and I realized that it's the "the grass is greener on the other side" feeling. "If I could just be home, then I will be satisfied and feel happy." I felt kinda empty and dissatisfied. Essentially, I was being ungrateful. Which threw up a red flag right away! Thank the Lord for His working in my life to point out to me when I am trying to run to something else to satisfy me instead of running to Jesus. I'm NOT saying that I am perfect or good at always running to Jesus and letting Him satisfy me and fill those desires. I am saying that for me, noticing a red flag is progress. In the past, 90% of the time I would just continue to travel down this road of being sad and bummed out and just sit in it for a while instead of running the opposite way towards Jesus. So I am praising Him for that today! He is answering my prayer for wisdom, thankfulness and joy!

So, these thoughts popped in my head..." what is home? Why do I miss it so much? How can Christ satisfy this desire and longing in me to be at home right now?" For me, home is home because of the people and memories and daily life. I miss the routine (however, it has been very nice to be out of that routine right now), the normal activities we are involved in, I miss our missional community, and of course our family and friends! I am so excited for everyone to meet Uriah and for Uriah to meet everyone at home! It's bizarre because everyone at home is still living normal life and I feel like life at home should be paused and then start back up when we come home Lord willing! I feel like we are missing out! Home is wonderful, enjoyable, at times stressful, busy, fun, memorable etc. I miss that.

But I have found/remembered and continue to find something exciting and encouraging to my soul. First of all, the Lord is sovereign, is wise and loves and provides for His children. I know He is taking care of our hearts during this season of life as well as the other two families here! Without Him I would have no hope. I don't need to worry about tomorrow or when we will come home  (even though I hope it is soon!) He knows when that will be, and it will be the right time-to fit into His perfect plan. It encourages me that He is caring for us! Thank you God!

Secondly, my permanent home is not on this earth, it is with my father in heaven. Yes, I can miss home and not know when we will be returning, however, my heart does not need to be worried about my forever home. I know when I will be going (ok, not the exact date... it will either be when I die or when Jesus comes back), I know it will be BEAUTIFUL (check out Revelations 21), I know I will be with my Savior and with all my brothers and sisters and I know I will be there FOREVER! I know He is preparing a place for me and for all of those who believe and come to believe in Him! There will be no uncertainty in this home! YAHOO!

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

Such beautiful and exciting words! Side note, this passage makes me think of my grandma because it is her favorite passage of scripture! Love you grandma! Anywho...I just thought that was an oasis in the midst of some of the dryness I have been experiencing lately! I am so glad God is patient with me while He teaches me contentment. I have a long way to go, but am excited about what He has been teaching me thus far! Now, on to the gifts!

Gifts:
47. Bubbles
48. Sojourn church! Our home church away from home! We love it there and are so glad they are preaching and living out the Gospel of Jesus Christ
49. Friends to hang out with here (and watch football on 3 different computer screens... that may have happened!)
50. Laughing
51. Silly faces
52. Uriah's juicy farts lol sorry if this is tmi, but Uriah had a lot of them today which resulted in at least 3 or 4 poopy diapers! You just need to laugh about it!
53. Card games with a 4 year old where you make up the rules as you go along!
54. Technology to be able to stay in touch with our friends and family!

Also, quick update, still no news today on the form we need. We will keep you posted! Please keep praying and trusting Christ!

For Christ's Glory,
Marissa

Just life

Hi everyone!
Sorry I didn't blog last night! I had a slight fever yesterday and wasn't feeling well, and also my husband and I had a date night! We watched a movie (on a laptop borrowed from our friends here!) after Uriah went to bed! It was such a great time! I haven't watched a movie since we left! Not missing it too much but it was really good to laugh! Uriah slept 12 hours (he woke up once at around 6:00 am but fell back to sleep almost immediately! So that was wonderful! Got some extra sleep which was much needed today!

We didn't do too much today, which was kinda nice. Josh went to go play basketball at an international school with Andrew (one of the husbands of one of the two other families here) around 9:40 am. So, it was just Uriah and I from then until about 1:00 pm or so! Some parts were fun and some were challenging with Josh gone. I guess it gave me a small taste of what it will be like once we get home and Josh goes back to work. It definitely is a bit exhausting and there were times I didn't feel like doing anything... but you have to, because who else will do it? Lol During times when I feel exhausted and down, I try to remind myself of God's goodness, of His grace for me when I am selfish and tend to be lazy. I am so thankful for God's grace that covers me. I am a small human being who can't do anything on my own, who fails often every day and who shouldn't matter to the God of the Universe...BUT He does care and that blows my mind! I'm so thankful...

One thing I am working hard at doing is to not want to wish away this time. Uriah is teething, and I just want it to be over because it causes a lot crankiness, I just want him to walk so we can do more things (and I don't have to carry him a lot) and I feel like we could do more things that would help the time to go faster. But in all reality, the grass is not greener on the other side, each and every moment is precious and I want to enjoy every moment of his life! I pray God gives my husband and I the strength to get through each and every day with patience and wisdom.

Now on to the gifts for the last two days!

Gifts:
43. Teething Rings
44. Essential Oils to help with my cold (specifically the flu bomb-Thanks Misty!)
45. Salvation! I'm so thankful I get to spend eternity with my Savior Jesus Christ!

46. Movie date nights with my husband!

Still waiting on news on the form that we are missing. We hope we can obtain it soon, but if we don't, please pray God would give us patience and strength to endure the wait of coming home. Also, it may sounds dumb or worrisome, but I am praying that with the whole Ebola thing in the United States we still would be able to come home and that international flights wouldn't be cancelled. I have not heard anything about that happening, it is just a thought that has crossed my mind.

Thanks for everything everyone!

For Christ's Glory,
Marissa

Seeking

Hi everyone!
I hope your Thursday is swell! Today has been a day... let me tell you why.

It feels like today was a busy day and a lot happened, but in reality, not much happened lol. Like I said yesterday, we went to the embassy, and found out we needed one more piece of documentation. I was bummed, but somewhat hopeful we would be getting the document today or tomorrow. Well, we found out today it may be a bit longer wait than we thought. We actually don't know how long we will need to wait, but the unknown part is the difficult thing. As soon as we found out it may take more time than we thought, I went down hill pretty fast. My head is so filled with expectations (which I know I shouldn't be doing during this adoption process), that when we heard the news I got a bit sad and frustrated. We are so close to coming home, and one document stands in our way (for now at least!) I didn't want to fight for joy or find things to be thankful for. In my mind at that moment, it was easier to just be frustrated and sad.

I was sharing with Josh how I was feeling and he said, "what can we be thankful for?" and I kinda got frustrated, because I didn't want to think about what I was thankful for (because I knew he was doing what I should have been doing... which is trying to think of things to be thankful for lol...I didn't want to admit he was right! Haha)

I started thinking about things to be thankful for, but couldn't come up with many. I was just down and felt almost paralyzed to letting joy and thankfulness in. But we came up with a few things to be thankful for (they are listed below) and carried on with our night. Talking with my husband, family and friends really helped. Also, being with Josh and Uriah made me smile and thankful for such a great family!

So, sorry to tell you that nothing "magical" happened where all of a sudden I just picked myself up and dusted myself off, and everything is better...BUT, as the night continues here in Uganda, I can feel the Lord comforting me and bringing my heart around to be thankful. I don't have as many gifts today in comparison to the last couple days, but that's ok! There is no rule that says I need to have a certain amount of gifts listed in a day. And there's nothing that says I need to feel happiness all the time. Yes, I am a bit sad and discouraged, but I have the BEST news ever, and that is that I have a Savior, a King, a Father who knows how I feel, and has come to save me so that I may spend eternity with Him. He comforts me and loves me and cares for me, and does what is best for me and my family. I am reminded that I do trust in His sovereignty in my life, and I know that He wants us to still be here right now. So, my heart is on it's way to being more grateful and joyful as I seek His face in all of this!

Gifts:
37. The kids here are collecting snails and caring for them! It's so great to see them care so much for one of God's creations! Praise God for their creative minds!
38. Pizza!
39. Sugar cane
40. Being able to actually have Uriah and be caring for him and bonding with him as we wait for all of our paperwork to go through
41. I get to run to Jesus when I feel sad and he takes me in and comforts me, even if I don't run to Him right away
42. Friends and Family who encourage me when I feel down

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Psalm 94:18-19

Despite all of my failures today as a wife, a mom and a daughter of the King, one thing is for sure and constant... that my God is in control and loves us. He is caring for us, and I want to follow Him, even though at times, it is hard.

For Christ's Glory,
Marissa

Ups and Downs

Hi everyone!
Just here filling you in on today! We went to the embassy at 10:00 am to turn in our paperwork for our adoption, hoping we would have everything we needed, but it turned out that we needed one more document and would need to come back later. At first I was disappointed and a bit sad, because things didn't turn out the way I thought/hoped they would... but after a few moments, I thought, "this is a good time to be thankful to the Lord and seek gifts in this situation!" I explain/list some of those gifts below, but some of the gifts are that we get to spend some more time in this beautiful country of Uganda, all of our other paperwork seemed to be good and we get to spend some more time with our friends who are adopting here as well! We have become good friends with the other 2 families that are here, and enjoy spending time with them and their families! Another gift is that the staff at the United States Embassy were very helpful and kind! Woo! So, we are trusting in the Lord's sovereignty in this situation, and know that this is what He wants! He wants us to be here for a little bit longer! :)

I also was able to read Proverbs 2 & 3 today! Man, it is so rich and full of beautiful language and encouraging words! I am learning that Wisdom=Jesus, Jesus leads to thankfulness and thankfulness leads to joy! I am also learning that to gain wisdom, I need to look for it and search for it, and God gives wisdom!

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,  turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
-Proverbs 2:1-6

It was really neat to see how I can gain wisdom from the Lord. I pray that my heart desires His wisdom and for Him to continue to change my heart. Even though it was difficult in some moments today to be thankful, I can tell that my sadness turned into thankfulness for God's sovereignty and His love and care for us. It's better to trust in Him and to not lean on our own understanding! (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Now, on to today's gifts! :)

Gifts
27. Going to the Embassy and having our appointment exactly at 10:00 am (when it was scheduled for)! We didn't have to wait long at all!
28. Needing one more piece of paper before we get our exit interview to come home. It was disappointing that we couldn't proceed today, but we know that this is what God wanted and trust His sovereignty!
29. Josh's footprint on the shower floor in red Ugandan dirt! (unintentional)
30. Josh and Uriah dancing at the carfe we ate at for lunch! Uriah giggled a lot!
31. Uriah's shorts that were hiked up, making him look like an old man!
32. Uriah riding in a shopping cart for the first time and enjoying it! Last time I tried to put him in one he cried! Progress and trust is being formed!
33. My golden yellow paper bead bracelet. It brought a bit of sunshine on this dreary rainy day!
34. God's Word (this could be a gift every day lol) specifically Proverbs 2 and 3.
35. A note that some of the kids of the other families here gave us. It reads, "If you find any snails, pleas give them to us," and had a drawing of a snail on it! Priceless!
36. Taking a few family pictures today with our friend Brittney who is a photographer! :)

I hope you all had a wonderful day and that you were able to see some of God's gifts in your lives today!

First Full Day

Hey everyone!
I hope your day is going well! It has officially been my first full day of seeking gifts the Lord has given me! It has definitely been a busy and good day! I learned a lot about God's sovereignty and timing. Of course, I failed to seek Joy and Christ during certain moments throughout the day, but I was thankful that there was grace and forgiveness offered to me to cover that sin. Thank you Jesus! So, without further adieu, here are my gifts for the day!

GIFTS:
8. Me telling Uriah no to touching certain items and him listening
9. Uriah "fake coughing"
10. Floss!
11. Bottled Water so we can stay healthy while in Uganda
12. My mouth guard to wear at night so my jaw doesn't hurt during the day
13. Toilet paper! I think we all know why I am thankful for that!
14. "Renew" lotion! It is the only lotion that has cured my dry cracked hands
15. Uganda rain storms! So refreshing and cool when most days are pretty warm!
16. Uriah's Bison wind suit to protect him from the rain on our way to breakfast!
17. A NEGATIVE HIV test for Uriah! Praise God!
18. Our driver Gilbert whom I trust with driving us around Kampala! What a gentleman!
19. The strawberry waffle I had today for lunch with coconut ice cream!
20. A beautiful mall in Kampala to cool off in!
21. A call from IOM (International Office of Migration) to go and sign the papers with Uriah's medical results! We have been waiting for this call for about 2 weeks!
22. Uriah taking over a 2 hour nap so I could get a small nap in and get some crocheting done.
23. While praying with Uriah tonight, Josh prayed these words: "Our lives that God has created is like a song...it at times can take unexpected turns, but that's what makes it beautiful."
24. An email from the embassy!!!! We have an appointment at 10:00 am tomorrow morning to turn in our paperwork! One more step closer to coming home!
25. Traffic in Kampala! Today, it taught me a lot about trusting in the Lord and His sovereignty, knowing He is in control and works everything according to His will!
26. Forgiveness for thoughts of comparison

It's so fun and good to look back on the day and see God's gifts....I easily forget. Thank you God for these treasures today!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 4:6-7