Tomorrow, it will have been two weeks since we have gone to the US Embassy here in Kampala to file all of our paperwork for our adoption in hopes that we would get a Visa for Uriah within a couple days of our embassy visit, and then go home! We were very excited! However, like I have stated in previous blogs, there was a bit of a snag. There was one document that needed to be written by another individual with higher rank than the gentleman who initially wrote the document. We were a bit bummed, but decided to try and be thankful in that tough moment... to try and find joy by seeking HIS face. I thought in my head that we would maybe get that form within a couple days.... well here we are two weeks later still waiting on that document. There are some complications and confusions happening between different parties/people that is causing a delay in receiving this document. There is a possibility of us being here another 3-4 weeks or longer (depending on what happens). Of course, when I heard this news, I tried (but honestly not very hard) to be thankful in that moment of difficult news of uncertainty... however, I failed miserably and my heart was turning cold.
When we were learning about the adoption process in Uganda, we were told at first to plan for 12 weeks in country because that is how long families working with our agency typically were staying. We were told roughly what the process would look like and roughly how long each step could take. We were told that there could be possible snags that our agency wouldn't know about, and that we would need work through whatever those would be. We knew that there would be multiple times throughout this trip/process that could cause frustration, but were encouraged to be patient, to be kind and to seek and trust the Lord, for He is in control. So, of course I KNOW all of that, but in my mind, I was thinking, "oh yes, I will remember all of that and not be frustrated if problems arise...buuuuut, that's not going to happen to our family. Everything will go smoothly and we will probably be home before 12 weeks!" Do you ever think that way? OR, I have thoughts like, "Ok, we just heard some challenging news, and we could be here longer, but God is just testing how I would respond, and if I respond correctly, we will find out the next day that everything is done that needs to be done, and we will be on our way home shortly." Responding as if God is a circumstantial God and will give me what I want if I respond the correct way. God is a God who is sovereign and in control. He is a God who is my Father and gives me only good things... not according to my standards and what I think are good things, but as He sees fit and good for me and for our family and ultimately for His glory. He gives good gifts.
So, after talking through things with my husband and just cooling off, God has comforted me. His Word (the Bible) really does speak life, encouragement and comfort (amongst many other things). Yes, our circumstances have not changed and I am still struggling a bit, but am working on fighting those feelings by running to Jesus. Believe it or not, I can truly say I am thankful for this challenging news because it has caused me to turn to Jesus and be reminded of who He is, and to allow my heart, mind and soul to be filled by Him. I love the song by Kari Jobe Steady My Heart. I am so glad that song popped on today during my iPod shuffle. The words really met me where I was and reminded me of who God is. If you have never heard it, please click the YouTube link below! It is so wonderful!
Along with worshipping and seeking the Lord musically, I tried something new to find comfort. The last blog I did I talked about the message I heard on memorizing scripture. Oh how I am seeing the importance of memorizing God's Word so that once those moments of tribulation come, you can search your mind and heart (where God's Word is hidden and tucked away) and you can dwell on it... it's water to your soul when it is cracked and dried. I don't have any large sections of scripture memorized, but I have been working on the book of James. I have only memorized the first two verses, but I wanted to continue reading the first chapter because I knew there was so much wisdom about trials and persevering. So, I know it seems like a lot, but here is the first chapter of James. May you dwell on it, and let it sink in:
James 1
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings. 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sister, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation - since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16 Don't be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it - not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it - they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Ahhhhh, such wonderful truths. I pray that God continues to change my heart and mind... even though it can be painful and I may not want to pray that lol Deep down that's what I want. So thank you Lord!
Without further adieu, here are some gifts!
Gifts:
59. Desiring.org (a wonderful website with TONS of wonderful resources! Check it out!)
60. Beautiful clouds during a sunset in Uganda yesterday after we heard some challenging news.
61. Immune booster pills!
62. A husband that cools me down in my frustration and helps me process things and turn back to Jesus
63. For hearing difficult/uncertain news yesterday because it has been drawing me closer and closer to Jesus.
64. James 1
Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement! We will continue to keep you posted as our adoption process moves forward Lord willing!
For Christ's Glory,
Marissa
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