Seeking

Hi everyone!
I hope your Thursday is swell! Today has been a day... let me tell you why.

It feels like today was a busy day and a lot happened, but in reality, not much happened lol. Like I said yesterday, we went to the embassy, and found out we needed one more piece of documentation. I was bummed, but somewhat hopeful we would be getting the document today or tomorrow. Well, we found out today it may be a bit longer wait than we thought. We actually don't know how long we will need to wait, but the unknown part is the difficult thing. As soon as we found out it may take more time than we thought, I went down hill pretty fast. My head is so filled with expectations (which I know I shouldn't be doing during this adoption process), that when we heard the news I got a bit sad and frustrated. We are so close to coming home, and one document stands in our way (for now at least!) I didn't want to fight for joy or find things to be thankful for. In my mind at that moment, it was easier to just be frustrated and sad.

I was sharing with Josh how I was feeling and he said, "what can we be thankful for?" and I kinda got frustrated, because I didn't want to think about what I was thankful for (because I knew he was doing what I should have been doing... which is trying to think of things to be thankful for lol...I didn't want to admit he was right! Haha)

I started thinking about things to be thankful for, but couldn't come up with many. I was just down and felt almost paralyzed to letting joy and thankfulness in. But we came up with a few things to be thankful for (they are listed below) and carried on with our night. Talking with my husband, family and friends really helped. Also, being with Josh and Uriah made me smile and thankful for such a great family!

So, sorry to tell you that nothing "magical" happened where all of a sudden I just picked myself up and dusted myself off, and everything is better...BUT, as the night continues here in Uganda, I can feel the Lord comforting me and bringing my heart around to be thankful. I don't have as many gifts today in comparison to the last couple days, but that's ok! There is no rule that says I need to have a certain amount of gifts listed in a day. And there's nothing that says I need to feel happiness all the time. Yes, I am a bit sad and discouraged, but I have the BEST news ever, and that is that I have a Savior, a King, a Father who knows how I feel, and has come to save me so that I may spend eternity with Him. He comforts me and loves me and cares for me, and does what is best for me and my family. I am reminded that I do trust in His sovereignty in my life, and I know that He wants us to still be here right now. So, my heart is on it's way to being more grateful and joyful as I seek His face in all of this!

Gifts:
37. The kids here are collecting snails and caring for them! It's so great to see them care so much for one of God's creations! Praise God for their creative minds!
38. Pizza!
39. Sugar cane
40. Being able to actually have Uriah and be caring for him and bonding with him as we wait for all of our paperwork to go through
41. I get to run to Jesus when I feel sad and he takes me in and comforts me, even if I don't run to Him right away
42. Friends and Family who encourage me when I feel down

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Psalm 94:18-19

Despite all of my failures today as a wife, a mom and a daughter of the King, one thing is for sure and constant... that my God is in control and loves us. He is caring for us, and I want to follow Him, even though at times, it is hard.

For Christ's Glory,
Marissa